Ever Stuff Down Your Words With Food?
Did you know that people who struggle with food tend to be exceptionally kind and nurturing?
Yep. They can be. And sometimes it gets out of balance.
We tend to care deeply about the needs and feelings of others. We often generously give grace … but do not extend it to ourselves. We tend to hold ourselves to very high standards with no room for mistakes, while giving others ample mercy.
If this resonates with you, dial in to this next part. It might just be a game-changer.
Those of us who struggle in our relationship with food often tend to be on the passive end of the passive-assertive spectrum. (Notice I did not say passive-aggressive spectrum.)
We often let others have the floor while we stand back in silence – even though there is much we wish we would muster the courage to say. This frustration can push us to turn to food for relief.
Passivity diminishes personal power. We fall into the habit of stuffing down our thoughts with food rather than stepping up and saying what we mean.
Here’s the good news: No one has to stay stuck here. Assertiveness is a skill anyone can master. All it takes is practice.
Let’s be clear here, so there’s no confusion...
Being assertive is not the same thing as being aggressive or passive-aggressive. Assertiveness is the healthy, powerful balance-point between passivity and aggressiveness. Developing assertiveness means you can act in your own best interest. You can stand up for yourself without undue anxiety. You can express your feelings honestly and comfortably, and do so while respecting the rights of others to do the same.
Look at all the GOODNESS that happens as you nurture assertiveness:
You get a clearer understanding of who you are and the value you bring to the world.
Relationships become more genuine and true, and unhealthy ones become more evident.
You discover wisdom for problem solving and solution finding.
You become less anxious when unexpected or difficult things happen.
You naturally step into your personal power and get more done (and have more fun doing it) because you have confidence that you can.
Other people’s successes are not a threat. Assertiveness opens the door for us to respect and celebrate others as well as ourselves.
So, if saying what you mean makes you anxious, if you have a hard time saying “no” and then regret it later, if you feel overly timid when speaking to people in authority, if you tend to stay in conversations or on the phone much longer than you want to, or if you have difficulty expressing anger and other strong emotions – some work around becoming more assertive could be a life-changer!
And an unexpected food-life changer as well!
If you’d like to read more, here are a few articles you may find interesting. I’m not saying I endorse every word, but they’ve certainly given me things to think about:
Let’s go FLOURISH!